Steve cooked lasagne for tea tonight. While he was making a shopping list before we hit the glittering metropolis that is Gloucester, I suggested we could buy some spinach to put in it. This was met with incredulous disgust – apparently spinach just doesn’t go. I thought it did but, hell, people have their own ideas and I left it, just glad someone else was making tea. However much I enjoy cooking it’s very refreshing hearing someone else chopping. Well we just sat down to eat after an exhausting troll around town and a wintery park and I discover he’s added a tin of sweetcorn and diced turnip. Diced turnip. Really?
I’m not saying it didn’t taste great because it did and the kids obviously agreed as their plates were scraped clean – but turnip? I wouldn’t mind but for the very scoffing rejection of spinach which seems like mr average lasagne ingredient now.
I will not look a gift chef in the mouth (although I have to wash up the four pans it apparently takes to make lasagne. Hmmmm.)
After shining my sink I’ m going to finish sewing my party bags for Tues. I usually collect paper bags but my supplies are depleted after Xmas so I’m sewing them. I did look at some to buy in town today while purchasing balloons but a) they cost money and b) couldn’t see any without Barbieslut on or that singing cheerleader and the boys ones were Thomas (who Ida has a deep and inexplicable dislike of) or Ben10…. The material is from my scrap mountain and the bags will hence cost nothing but a little bit of time. I know that my friends will find it tooth grindingly Martha Stewart though. I resolve not to apologise about making stuff. I’m making the pizza too, and the bread for the sandwiches.
When I was working full-time I used to feel terribly miserable and defensive about not having the time to always hand make everything. Went through a dreadful time of dutifully attending the houses of mothers I had met at an NCT group where I was put through the mill of competitive, organic, hand-made one-upmanship. It took a while to realise how toxic it all was and remove myself. I rush to say that many of my friends, old and new, craft and grow and care about the world around us in an inclusive non judgemental way but I have definitely encountered a less sisterhoodish element which I really want to avoid.
See now I have time and no money – so handmade is easier, thriftier and since I enjoy it – what’s the problem? Except I fear I’m rubbing my time poor friends noses in it. Oh the guilt and when I was working I didn’t have the time to homemake so spent money buying things – killed the planet a bit more and oh the guilt. Always with the guilt! Really need to work on that. I think the world needs less guilt and more sisterhood. Life is hard enough without constantly comparing yourself to other women, trying to decide which way is best. As someone who’s tried both, let me say – it’s all swings and roundabouts. And I may well make that my mantra of the month.
I’ve managed a week and am feeling ridiculously pleased with myself. All you proper bloggers will find that funny but believe me – it’s an achievement of commitment for me. Big love to you all.