Not quite thirty pieces.

Well I’ve got bloggers remorse. Inevitable and part of the learning curve older and wiser heads have told me. Goddamn – where have all the grown ups gone? Things learnt include, always spell check and read through, maybe just banging publish through the tears after writing is not the best plan, never feel ashamed of emotion, cathartic ranting serves a purpose, move swiftly on.

On that note, a veritable pile of silver –

I only bled the radiators! I mean they’d reached a real crisis point. The gurgling had invaded our heads enough to produce collective grouping of shipwreck dreams and led to a friend saying “what the deuce?” at the alarming volcanic rumbles. The good news and possible tips here are: 

  • Supermarkets sell radiator bleeding keys. You need these – trying to hammer on a differently shaped socket with your shoe will not work.
  •  If the air hissing out takes half an hour you’ve left it FAR too long to tackle this task.
  • If you have a combined boiler – ie hot water AND heating you will need to refill the system and restore pressure to 1 after bleeding before turning the heating back on. The VERY loud banging from the boiler DOES mean it may blow up, turn it off, quickly.
  •  Lucky you if you have friends with partners who on hearing the hilarious banging story will instruct them to ring their friend with this, frankly, vital information.

Walking home very slowly with Ida today after dropping Z at school we noticed how loud the birds were. Lots of sparrows were peering down from the gutters and yelling at us. This delights Ida but she can’t walk and look up at the sky so we stop a lot. Fine by me as I’m in no rush to get home where the source of my remorse squats on the computer. A friend has recommended I read it through, that it’s not as bad as I remember. “I did use the C word though?” ” Well yes but very poetically”

The sun is shining, as we leave the house for school it is very low on the horizon so if you squint you can see rainbows caught in your eyelashes. The world seems veiled in gauze, kinder.

Ida and I have emptied the cupboard full of tools into a couple of boxes  destined for under the stairs. All part of my plan to rip out the cupboards and allow the mouldy wall to dry out. We spent a happy half hour sorting screws into jam jars. I marvel at her dexterousness as she painstakingly separates the tiny wood screws and tacks.

We have a lot of fixings…what can I build?

I’m making gardening plans for the weekend. Going to let the kids roll around in the mud and prep some growing space. Am hugely inspired by this lovely blog, A life less simple, and the pictures of her new garden.

One of Idas favourite books of the moment is a simple guide to keeping chickens my aunt gave me for Christmas. We pore over it obsessively – other people keep chickens..maybe we could. Surely exposure would get me over my ridiculous fear of their feet? We already keep mealworms and crickets for the lizard. She likes me to read out the names of the breeds and is especially charmed by a photo of red fluffy hen sitting in a flower-pot.

I bought a packet of old-fashioned sweet pea seeds from the corner shop. Looking at the picture makes me daydream about their heady perfume on hot summer days. Of course as soon as they’re here I’ll be complaining about being too hot…

While I was mashing parsnips for lunch Ida came into the kitchen with my camera and took a picture of my knees. She is enormously pleased with herself! I must remember to put my camera out of her reach – well, since she’s such a spectacular climber – out of her sight.

Most people are kind. It’s important to remember this in hard, embittered times. Thank you to everyone who’s just shown me some kindness, soothed some misery, made a comment and reminded me of this salient fact.

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2 responses to “Not quite thirty pieces.

  1. Oh my heart went out to you reading this post. It’s funny thing about blogging, maybe about life really, that we happily write about all the good and positive stuff, but stop ourselves when it comes to expressing the painful/angry stuff that is equally as valid. That’s one of things I enjoy about your blog, is that you are such an honest blogger. You say it how it is, and that’s very refreshing and makes for an interesting, compelling blog. I admire you for writing that post.

    • Thank you so much Sara. I really appreciate your generous and kind comments. Rationally I feel strongly that poor mental health is an issue I want to be really open and honest about because it affects most of us during our lifetime yet is still perceived as something to be ashamed of. In reality I still struggle sometimes. My biggest remorse was blogging about someones elses struggle. Ah well – lessons learnt and all that! Loved your piece about the roman baths and the harrased Gods of lost property!

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