Oh I’m missing posting everyday.
I know it’s important to keep things in perspective but writing every day felt really good. I might start-up another internal resolution. Although I’m not bending on the to-do lists. Much better to just do something. For me anyway – the girl who devoted a day to the most complex multi layered revision schedule you could ever dream of then never wasted a second actually revising.
It’s been flying ant day here on the grey streets of Tredworth. We went swimming after school and ants got stuck to my wet hair on the way home. I tried to embrace the BT aspect of all living things blah blah blah. I just don’t like outsized ants in my hair. Sue me.
Zeph found it all very funny. He had a school trip today to Cotswold Farm Park and was full of chat about the animals he’d seen and got to hold. Bubbling over with excitement he showed us what he’d got in the gift shop. (The pinnacle of any eight yr olds outing.) Two snap band bracelets with little beanie animals on – one lizard and a frog one for Ida.
I was really touched that he’d thought of her (although he did point out he was the actual overall owner – even though Ida could wear it all the time – all about the rules kids…) She was ecstatic with joy. It took five full minutes of persuasion for me to get her to leave it in the locker while we swam.
“frogs doooo go in water mum.”
“not beanie ones.”
She’s wearing it now in bed. It’s a frog, it’s glittery green, you snap it onto your arm, if you put it on your head you can say you’re a frog princess like in Bagpuss, Zeph gave it to her. Things don’t get better than this.
Sometimes I feel so insubstantial in the world. When you watch someone you care about hurting and there’s nothing you can do or say to lessen the pain. Just wait by their side as they move through it. Today, watching my children, I felt like I’d helped build this happy joyousness. That I’d made room in the world for this love.
Felt pretty good. Ants or no ants.