Toddler lessons

If you know me on facebook you may have already seen these pictures. I can’t resist posting them again because they make me laugh when I see them. You see I couldn’t resist the idea of half an hour to myself so I didn’t investigate. Frankly a mistake when a small baggins -y toddler is involved…

How sweet I thought, she’s made a funny little den out of cushions and then fallen asleep. She’s very fond of hiding at the moment and leaping out to surprise people. I took the photo to show Steve when he got home and looked fondly at the hobbity foot. They both have the most ridiculously wide feet. When we bought Zeph his first school shoes they didn’t have a fitting for it – he was literally off the chart. Luckily they seem to have stayed the same width and have just grown enormously long which means we can buy shoes in shops and not have to fashion them ourselves.

Anyway I enjoyed the quiet and got on with a few vital easier-done-by-myself tasks. She stirred pretty soon and I glanced over casually and nearly had a heart attack. From a rooms distance it looked as though her eyes were bleeding. On closer inspection after a sprint where I think my heart had stopped beating it turned out it was…


Wretched child had climbed up and stolen half a bar of cooking chocolate from the kitchen cupboard then hidden under cushions to eat it but fell asleep on it instead. Gah.

It’s harder than you think to wash melted then set chocolate out of hair. Steve came home to find us putting all the cushions and covers in for a wash. Everything survived and I’ve moved the chocolate higher. C’est la vie.

 I’m laughing now. If you don’t laugh you’ll go stark raving crazy. We’ve been on the bus a lot this week hiking across town for Zeph to go to an art workshop everyday and we’ve been getting a lot of old lady feedback that Ida is adorable. Which she is but I know this is just natures plan to stop me abandoning her somewhere and to keep supplying her with boiled eggs and avocados.

Yesterday after an enjoyable few minutes naked drumming and dancing to lovecats on YouTube (the original video – with the trumpet playing cat) Steve attempted to listen to something else – fool! We heckled from the dance floor – me demanding to know what it was and in response to his answer our gloriously savage filthy over excited daughter yelled “Pump Volume my arse – we want lovecats!”

Now I don’t want to be the kind of mother who trots out their child saying “Fuck you” like it’s a party trick and making toddlers fight with flick knives for a bottle of Thunderbird but there was nothing to do but laugh.

It’s stuff like this that gets you through all the defiance, spilt drinks, refusal to wear clothes and general daily dogsbodying. On the bus today as Ida kicked me repeatedly in the side as I prevented her from ringing the bell I thought how she was evolving into a bigger wiser person and I wondered if I was evolving too. Does parenting, done well, paying attention, jump you up a stage from larvae to nymph? Since on reflection I think there are lessons everywhere then it must. I will hope for the best…and sit further away from the bell tomorrow.


2 responses to “Toddler lessons

  1. That face…… Says it all really…..

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